LF, these scary dreams are normal, tho of course upsetting, but the one about everyone you love being sick... it came to me this AM to ask if it might be helpful to you (at some point) to write something.

I'm thinking how you and Bonnie have lost so many dear ones to cancer. [wincing, speaking softly] In our community, as you know, we all stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before us. Sweetie, those dear ones were your role models... how they lived, how they battled, how they grew in grace.... how beautiful they were...

Might it help you, now, to write them "thank you notes" praising what you learned from each of them? Privately, or here.... a tribute from which others might also learn in the future. Yeah, I know, thoughts like that were probably part of your Relay for Life times.... but it looks a little different, now?

~Susan