"Plectrum? Damn near killed 'im!"

Actually the correct plural (to refer to all the little buggers that get lost and hang out together under the sofa cushions) is "plectra."
I know.   I saw it a crossword puzzle just the other day.

Seamus, kudos (which, BTW, is singular) to you on penning such a groan-worthy Bears parody!

Andrew, I think I have found your lost plectrum.   I'll be glad to send it back to you free (you just pay shipping and handling of $7.95) if you can provide a full description (notarized, of course).

But, hey.   When I do use a flat pick, I prefer the Herco ones, which are like a thumb pick with a wide flat picking surface.   When they're not in use, I clip them onto my earlobes. If they go with my outfit, they make nice accessories.