The Fawlty Towers of Aussie Service Stations.
or
A brief Handbook on Customer Disservice.

Dear BP Australia

About 5:30pm Sunday 11 April 2010, I made the regrettable error of stopping at your establishment at Kilcoy, instead of going to the Hotel up the road for an evening meal - petrol or alcohol was not needed. Foolishly, I ignored that fact that there were already about a dozen cars parked in the Service Station and across the road, with many people clearly waiting for something - perhaps food as it appears.

When I entered, I noticed that the chip tray in the Bain Marie was empty (I should have anticipated bad management, having already noticed the large queue, but I was tired). I quickly read the entire Menu Board, asked my Aspergers god-child what she wanted - sorted that hassle out, and asked "can I have a large box of chips please?" (I had already noted the prices). I was waved towards a stack of priced empty boxes including one more size than on the menu board! My selection was not influenced, as I did want the extra large. After sorting out that I didn't want that foul tasting 'Chicken Salt', just a very light amount (you ALWAYS have to say that in advance, or you get shovels full of salt) of normal salt. In McDonald's, the staff would by NOW have politely advised me that there would be a significant delay of about 15 minutes as they already had a large backlog of chip orders. In that case I would probably have selected at least 3 small cartons of Potato Gems already sitting ready - more expensive volume wise, but at least I would have wasted less time.

"The Customer is always Right"

I added several ready cooked items to my order for the 3 people in the car. I heard a later customer to my right ask 'could he have a Chiko Roll' - "Nuh" without any checking - the guy started to say, "OK forget it", but the deep fryer cook at the back of the room overheard this and yelled, "I got some Chiko Rolls about to come out" - so he said, "OK I'll wait for one of those".

"The Customer is always Right"

There was a large sign at the food register - 'Cash Only'. When I eventually return to Brisbane, my occasional ex-drinking buddies in the Tax Investigations Section will doubtless have a good laugh at the whole story too. I wasn't in the Public Service nearly 30 years before retiring for nothing.

The ready cooked items were bagged, and I paid for the lot in cash - I can't seem to find my receipt. As an ex-Public Servant who normally never throws ANY Documentation away, I am surprised, but being tired at the time, and stopping for a 'fatigue break' as per Government TV Ads, I am now not sure whether I even got one or not.

"The Customer is always Right - most especially when they are Wrong!"

After waiting for a long time, during which I learned that one of the young looking staff was 'Rachel', from her conversation with someone who knew her, I decided to use the toilet. I have seen cleaner and nicer, but it was acceptable. Upon return, there was a coffee waiting - I asked "Is this mine" and received it. I then asked more than once 'what about the chips?' and was ignored in good traditional Basil Fawlty fashion. There was a small carton of what looked like 'Chicken Chippies' or similar on the counter. A box of chips was being prepared - I asked 'are those mine' and was again ignored. Then THIS BOX of chips was lifted OVER the Chicken Chippies, and placed on the front edge of the counter right in front of me. There was a woman standing to the left of me with nothing on the counter in front of her. I asked again 'are these mine?' and again Basil Fawlty ruled. I then picked up the box and left.

The original plan was just to 'grab and go', but what with trying to get the child and the brainless lab pup and the food loaded into the car, I eventually decided we would eat at the nearby table. I was just starting to open the chips and noticing gravy that I had not ordered, and thought "oh, how nice, they give free gravy!" It is a pity we didn't drive off immediately, as then I would have for years been singing the praises of an overworked little food shop who did nice things for their customers anyway, and encouraging all my friends to use there.

Basil Fawlty's Daughter then stalked up to us, thundercloud on her brow, and loudly publicly berated me 'for taking the wrong order'!!!! After all that Classic Basil Fawlty rudeness that would have got her 'retrained' or possibly even just 'let go' from Maccas! I asked 'did she want the box back', and she said 'no, that it had ALREADY been sorted out'! So I asked what was her problem, and things rapidly deteriorated into a shouting match in front of everybody - I was tired and possibly cranky, I admit! I then told her in a very quiet, very polite voice to depart from my sight.

"The Customer is always Right - most especially when they are Wrong!"

She then started loudly ranting on about how I should show better manners "The Next Time!" Haha! FROM BASIL FAWLTY'S DAUGHTER! Hahaha! SHE fucked up, SHE got in the shit, and SHE came looking for a lower ranked dog to kick! I sent her away with a flea in her ear, I can tell you!

"The Customer is always Right - most especially when they are Wrong!"

My friend, by this stage, could take it no more - she said "WHAT NEXT TIME!!!!!!! - We won't be back, and neither will our friends when we tell them".

Doubtless I will dine out on this story for years among the many friends I know in the Food Industry, Chefs, TAFE Food lecturers, etc. I have done a bit of large scale catering in open fields over open fires myself, but that's another story. And in these days of the Net, someone like me who worked as a Computer Sys Admin knows how to get laughs from a lot of others world wide too.

By the way, all the food was cold and tasteless when we finally ate it, anyway.

So don't Go There! Look for a Maccas or go to the Pub up the road!

I wasted over half an hour of my life, why should you?

:-)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh and btw, from your BP website:
"We save cookies on to your computer to enable our site to personalise your future visits."

Oh no you don't - not with THIS little long term Computer Sys Admin black duck!

And as a writer, I retain Authorship Copyright on this story- I refuse to assign it to you!

Errors while trying to contact you:

Error
QUOTE
Specific information regarding your query so that the appropriate response is provided should be less than 2000 characters.
UNQUOTE

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haha! My complaint is too big for them to handle!

Robin