A man was trying to launch a kite in his front yard. There was a stiff breeze, but every time he let the kite go, it nosedived. His wife watched him from the porch, and shouted "You need a little more tail". He shouted back "Make up your mind! Last night you told me to go fly a kite".

*

"Have the police found the missing oscilloscope?"
"No, but they say they have a couple of leads."
"Oh. I hope this doesn't trigger a sweep of the neighborhood."