This Abdul the Bul Bul character is headin' for a nasty end when I find him.

Okay, lemme take a look at one of them sonnets. Hmm.

"Might I know where in mind you sit and rest."

I sit and rest at Duffy's Bar most nights.

"That I would know where I might search for muse,
Within these dreams that I cannot refuse."

I seen a lotta people with dreams they couldn't refuse. Some ended up at the bottom of the lake wearin' concrete overshoes. Ya gotta be careful what you dream for in this life.


"How might I find that fountain, or seek nest
Of snowy owl with emerald eyes?"

Go to a nature park up north in Canada somewhere.

"This day
Fair daughter of the gods, I seek to know
Some portion of your dreams, that I might show
How far that I might go, to light repay."

It is always a question how far t' go with women. Ya gotta watch a dame's body language and the look in her eyes. That tells you a lot. Sometimes it's okay to touch, but sometimes it ain't. A little chivalry goes a long way, and so does a glass or two of really good wine.

"Had I, within my dreams, the means to find,
I would that I could see into your eyes,
That I might lose all fears, and hear no cries."

You are askin' a lot there. I have only met a few who could say they had lost all fears. As for hearin' no cries, I suggest shuttin' yer window, puttin' on some music, and if all else fails...get earplugs.

"Yet in my dreams I wander, sightless, blind."

Get a good pair of specs.

"I do not mean to flatter, but to praise
The muse that in dreams sends to me her rays."

There's a fine line between praise and flattery, isn't there? Most dames will take either. I think yer general approach is way too wimpy for any of the gals I know. They would laugh at you. But if you go courtin' some shrinkin' violet type who reads them romance novels and hides in her apartment al day eatin' tofu, and writes poetry, and collects thousands of little glass figurines of dogs or somethin' like that and puts them in miniature models of gardens that she builds out of cereal boxes and toothpicks, then you might do okay with her. Try the personals column. There are some really weird women out there who can't meet people in a normal way, and I bet there is one out there just for YOU.

- Chongo