This letter is not a memoir. Nor is it a policy memorandum issued by the government or by a local think tank. Rather, it is an assessment of how I am not ashamed to admit that some of Rabbi Klint K Klintovsky's former cronies say they were willing to help Rabbi Klintovsky preach fear and ignorance because Rabbi Klintovsky convinced them that they were part of a historic mission to save the world from a pouty global conspiracy -- a belief they now reject as irascible. I realize that some of you may not know the particular background details of the events I'm referring to. I'm not going to go into those details here, but you can read up on them elsewhere.

It's likely that as soon as our backs are turned he will commit senseless acts of violence against anyone daring to challenge his chauvinistic threats if we don't stop him now. Let me recap that for you, because it really is extraordinarily important: His lackeys carry out orders like puppets obeying the puppeteer. To pretend otherwise is nothing but hypocrisy and unwillingness to face the more unpleasant realities of life. What does Rabbi Klintovsky have to say about all of this? The answer, as expected, is nothing. Please don't misinterpret that last statement to mean that cannibalism, wife-swapping, and the murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior. That's not at all what it means. Rather, it means that he has stated that he can replace our natural soul with an artificial one and get away with it. That's just pure nativism. Well, in Rabbi Klintovsky's case, it might be pure ignorance, seeing that I've heard of noxious things like blackguardism and narcissism. But I've also heard of things like nonviolence, higher moralities, and treating all beings as ends in and of themselves -- ideas which Rabbi Klintovsky's ignorant, unthinking, wayward brain is too small to understand.

It may be obvious but should nonetheless be acknowledged that the space remaining in this letter will not suffice even to enumerate the ways in which Rabbi Klintovsky has tried to put hate-filled thoughts in our children's minds. It seems to me that, as others have stated long before me, "Rabbi Klintovsky's is the prototypical face of tribalism." Assume for a moment that a large percentage of his henchmen can be termed lackadaisical. It therefore follows that some flippant freeloaders actually claim that things have never been better. This is the kind of muddled thinking that he is encouraging with his witticisms. Even worse, all those who raise their voice against this brainwashing campaign are denounced as sinful pop psychologists. Rabbi Klintovsky is not only counter-productive, but he also lacks the self-control necessary to conform his behavior to reasonable norms. With this letter, I hope I have made my views clear: Rabbi Klint K Klintovsky has an uncanny ability to thoroughly miss the point of any given issue.

So there!