*Big breath*

Thanks for still hanging out here with me and knowing that I just needed a minute to regroup. What can I say? The empty shoes? The person dying right there in the chemo chair? It scares me right down to my toes.....and it breaks my heart into a million different pieces.

Onward.

I walked to and from church last night...about a mile in total. It was slow going, not painful, but really tiring. I used to zip through it....I don't care. I WALKED. I told Pete that I walked last night and he said, "What? Are you crazy?" I need to move and build my body and muscles back up. Tracy and I have been talking about that. She had 12 cycles of chemo (very different from mine...she had hers more frequently and had to wear hers home for a few days after too). Anyway, she has also gotten very weak.....much moreso than me. She is using a walker now and has physical therapy. I'm not at that point and don't think I will be but still we both need to work to rebuild muscles that have weakened due to lack of use. So...YES, I WALKED and I did it alone and whatever! I was FINE! My legs are a little sore this morning but so what?!?!? :)
    Today is a beautiful day. I woke up on my own at a reasonable hour, Pete is home, the sky is blue and there's NO WHERE I must be today! Pete made weekend coffee (orange coffee this weekend...my favorite) so we sat out on the porch in our jammies first thing!!! I love our porch!!!! I got some laundry going, more time chatting on the porch, came in to check our email and now I'm headed outside to do some potting. Today I have maybe 7 basil plants and 2 large parsley plants to pot. I also have a flat of violas that I'm not sure where I'm going with. Then there are pepper plants and the remaining tomatoes that are destined for container gardening (the romas are all in the garden). Later this afternoon we are either going kayaking or to the movies......its an absolutely perfect day and I'm a very happy bean.
    Just a note for those of you who worry about my stupidity of doing things alone....I am NOT going kayaking alone. I do have a boat that I can lift myself but it's not my favorite kayak...I'm taking the monster (60 pounds, 12 feet long) and Pete will do all the loading and unloading. He's taking his yak too and he'll fish while I poke around the edges...where all the cool swamplife lives!!!. If I get tired, he'll have a tow rope and can drag me back to shore if need be. I don't see that happening but then again, I haven't been kayaking yet this year so I don't know how my body will handle it. I am REALLY looking forward to kayaking...you have no idea! My waterproof digital camera is charging and I'm planning on doing some turtle hunting....they love to sun on submerged tree branches that are poking out.
    Anyway, time to go put some on some sunscreen and grab my garden gloves.
   Also.....I'm trying to come up with an idea for some way to celebrate my last treatment and am coming up blank. I don't have a clue.....any thoughts?
   Oh AND.....that video of the walk for the GA Ovarian Cancer Alliance? I AM WALKING IN THAT THIS YEAR!!!! I've contacted the CEO (actually, he's the one who put up my montage and has asked me to blog for them) and he's looking into complimentary housing as well as a complimentary scooter for my mom (if she comes with me) as she would have trouble walking that far. I think I can walk it....especially since this will happen in September....I might be slow but I think I can do it! YAY.
    I'm off to play in the dirt.

Love to all.

Michelle