Here you go. My dear wife informs me that anything non-platonic will constitute grounds!

As I said most of this was made ub by Charley and Tom Brown in the Beggars Velvet days. You can hear it on "Hooks and Nets" by Ian Woods and Charley Yarwood available from HMV folk section

WARE OUT MOTHER

Nightmares mother had, of navvies in the cellar
and dark eyes looking through the window outside
How we used to beg and how we used to taunt her
How we used to laugh and chant to her dismay

Ware out mother there's a navy in the cellar
and two more looking through the window outside

Mother heard there was to be a river builded
A stones throw away from the window outside
How we hugged each other as we told our mother
It's a canal there'll be navigators too!

We told mother there'd be barges full of jewels
and wondrous things passing by the window outside
"Wheres this river come from?" we said it came from China
Whoa thought mother there'll be alligators too

One night Jimmy led the navvies into town
They looked like beggars from the window outside
Navvies in the alehouse, arguments and street fights
mother became 'delicate' and stayed in bed all week

Jimmy the navvy had a gentle way of talking
and more pairs of hands than was decent all right
Do you come along you naughty little Suzy
Just let me put my arms around your waist

When our mother saw Jimmy with her daughter
she locked Suzy up in the cellar downstairs
Do you go along you naughty little hussy
else I'll put a stick about your back

Jim gave a blink or it might have been a wink
And organized a tunnell 'neath the window outside
Not a body saw them till they struck foundations
right thought Jim I shall make a little hole

A muffled bang and there was dust and rubble everywhere
And Jim was in the cellar with his Suzy once more
How they hugged each other but no one told our mother
she still has dreams but she never learned the truth

Work moved on apace and navvies they were leaving
And they filled in the hole neath the window outside
Tears were shed in bucketfuls and shedloads of promises
Then off went jim and Suzy with him too
^^