I already HAVE repented, you stupid twat! I gave up my false gods of Mammon on June 13, 1981. I still use Money, but I regard it with casual aplomb, as calmly as I would a cloud passing in the sky. My Licentious Behavior, once awesome in its variety and complexity, has been set aside for an interest in gardening. My Lewd Dancing never really amounted to much, and I have by now left it completely behind me. I naturally honour the Creator in all kinds of ways. For example, I have a morning ritual to remember the martyrdom of King Kong, and I pray daily for a liason with Winona Ryder. As for Charity, I feed the squirrels, chipmunks, and birds. As for Evangelism, I attempt to persuade people to abandon personal attacks on each other and discuss actual issues instead. As for Good Works, I mow the law whenever it needs it!

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter Heaven!"

Izzat right? Are you sure? Okay....well, I'm definitely not rich, so I guess I'm covered on that one.

****

p.s. I just noticed that I called you a "stupid twat" above. I may have caused offence to the Creator in so doing, I may have sinned...but then again, maybe not. The Creator may also think you're a stupid twat, in which case I've not sinned at all. I'm taking my chances on this one.... ;-D