Many thanks for that, Q. Too late to stop me doing the one below, but there are sufficient differences to warrant its inclusion

THE COUNTRYMAN IN LONDON

TUNE:- "Drops of Brandy"

  When fro' Lancashire first I went up,
  Good laws! how the Lunnun folk eyed me,
  I reckon they thought me a clown,
  As they offered their service to guide me.
  Bur I're not to be catch'd in their traps,
  For we Lanky lads understand trickin,
  So I tipt um a few friendly raps,
  And that set their kindness o kickin.
  

Spoken -- That is o kickin their heels I meon; because when I geet into Lunnun, seein as I wur o countrified sort of o chap, they wanted t' have a bit of o joke wi me; so there comes up o very fine dressed sort of o man, un says he, "honest lad, does thee know what's o'clock?" Why, aye, I said, any foo knows that, o clock's o thing what tells th' toime o day! Well, but he said, what's o'clock now? Why, I said, o clock's o clock, now or any other time, just t' same; I said we'n o very pratty clock o whoam, but it's out o fettle, un I've brought th' strikin part wi me o bein mended! Well, he says, does it ever strike when you are from home? I said it does sometimes! "Well", says he, "I wish you'd make it strike now?" So I up wi my fist un knocked him down; there it's stricken one o'clock! While he lay sprawlin ith' mud - I run down th' street singin --

                                
                          Rum ti iddy, &c.
  
  Then as I walk'd in the Strand,
  And there to myself wur talkin,
  About how I wur come to a stand,
  Which wur the best way to be walkin,
  I're taken somwhow by surprise
  Wi a gentleman's hand in my pocket;
  So I just painted one of his eyes,
  And knock'd t' other out of its socket.
  

Spoken -- Hallo! measter, I said, I think I've made o bit of o mistake! He said you've made a very great mistake to go and strike me in that way, when I was goin to show you the sign of the Bell and Mouth! Aye, I said, but when you come to th' sign o'th hand ith' pocket, it wur time I showed you th' sign o th' fist ith' face; but, I suppose now, us I made thee blind, tha' can see thy mistake. - I then went o little bit down th' street, un I looked into o shop where I seed o mon writin, well, I said, owd chap, whay do you sell here? "Why", he said, "we sell Loggerheads!" O! I reckon, those are what we call Chouter yeads? "Yes", he said! Well, I said, but you'n o rare trade on it, for you'n sowd um aw but one I see, un he's writin. Then I seed some tailors workin in o shop wi th' windows open, and one on um hits me o rap on the yead wi th' yerd stick; there, he said, my man, there's a crowner for you! I'd my new pair o flails across my shoulder, I took him o rap un fotched him off th' shopboart; there, I said, ther's four and elevenpence halfpenny back, I cannot carry copper, off wi

                          My rum ti, &c, &c.
  
  At neet as I walked in the street,
  I thought fust the dickens wur in me,
  That I must be a beauty complete,
  For thg' wenches aw wanted to win me;
  But I found it was all a cajole,
  And all their billin and cooin
  Was only to handle my tin,
  And an honest lad bring into ruin.
  

Spoken -- As I went down th' street, I seed o very foine beatutified woman, I think I never seed any body look so nice; hur face wur aw daubed o'er wi red raddle! Hoo said I wur very pratty, it rather pleased me, tho' I knowed it wur not true; well, hoo coom up an made o very foine cortsey, un I was mackin hur one o my best bows, un I sent my yead clean thro' th' shop window! Hollo! says shopman, what are you for? Well, I think I'm gettin booked for an inside place; un wi that I had to set off, for fear he met want pay -- un goin down o street I met o parson chap readin in o book. "Well," said he, "where does this street go to?" Why, I said, street goes no where, its standin still! "I meon", he said, "where will it take me to?" I said, it will take you no where! "Where shall I go to if I go down this street?" Well, I said, if you go far enough you'll go to t'other end on't! "Sir, you are a very wicked, impertinent rascal; what religion do you profess, what's your belief?" Why, I said, there's but one o th' same belief us me in our part un we cannot afford to keep o church between us! "Why, I pray you, what belief is that?" Why I owe him half-a-crown un he believes I shall never pay him, un I believe th' same. So Off I went singin --

                          Rum ti iddy, &c.