First joke I was ever told by charming little girl at school at age 5:~~

This lady goes into a pet shop and says to the pet shop man "I want a parrot that talks." The pet shop man says "This parrot talks. Ten shillings please". So the lady gives him ten shillings and takes the parrot home.

The lady comes back next day and says "That parrot I bought yesterday doesn't talk." The pet shop man says "Go home and stick a fork up the parrot's bum." So the lady goes home and sticks a fork up the parrot's bum and the parrot says "Who's that sticking a fork up my bum?"