http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/books/2010/06/no-donations-in-the-book-drop-please-draft.html

NO DONATIONS IN THE BOOK DROP, PLEASE
Posted by Eileen Reynolds

Much as it pains us, here at the Book Bench, to hear about books being damaged in any way, we couldn't help but grin when we read the news that a seventy-four-year-old woman was arrested this week after pouring a jar of mayonnaise into the book-drop at a public library in Boise, Idaho. When it comes to substances one would hope never to find slathered on a copy of oh, say, "Ulysses," mayonnaise—it must be said— is a wonderfully imaginative choice. And the best part of the story? The mayo-dumper is being investigated for earlier book vandalism incidents involving ketchup and corn syrup, as well as other "condiment-related crimes." To pen such a gem of a phrase is every young journalist's dream.

One cannot help but speculate on what would would motivate someone to throw condiments down the book-drop. Was it a falling out with a librarian? A skirmish over due dates and fines? Or did the books themselves somehow invite the attack? Was it a self-indulgent memoir that inspired such rage? Or a novel that started well but petered out midway through?

I wonder if librarians at other public libraries have seen this sort of thing before. Surely, there must be some amount of benign book-drop mischief going on all the time. I know someone—maybe you do, too—who carefully tucks an old theatre ticket or party invitation into each library book before dropping the whole stack into the chute. Let's just hope that no one else gets the idea to smear perfectly good books with sandwich spread. After what happened in Idaho, should librarians be on the lookout for copycat crimes?

The public library in my hometown had a sign that said "No donations in the book drop, please." I used to imagine that this was some enterprising librarian's subtle attempt at reverse psychology: perhaps at the mere sight of the word "donation," some wealthy library patron might write a million-dollar check, affix it to a note saying that the funds should be used for a new fiction wing, and toss both slips of paper into the bin. But maybe I had it all wrong, and those wise librarians were simply trying to protect themselves against a flood of Hellman's—or worse.

No books were harmed in the writing of this post.

(I'll leave their manufactured url on the bottom, it might be more durable)
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