I was doing no-one no harm
When to Grogan's Store I set my course,
And there I saw Ned Flanagan's gander
Was treading Nancy Hogan's goose.

Oh and Nancy herself was there,
And she had the Devil's tongue.
She swore by all the courts above
That she would have that gander hung.

"Oh, you cannot hang my gander.
It's the goose that is to blame.
For she comes round here every morning
And wiggles her arse just to show she's game."

But the policeman he came around
And took the gander off to jail;
Held him there till the next assizes;
Would not give him any bail.

When the trial it came around
He looked the judge right in the face.
He said, "Is it just for doing my duty
That I must now leave my native place?"

And then the judge he looked at the gander.
He said, "Young man, I'll set you loose.
But if you go back to Grogan's Store
Stay away from Nancy Hogan's goose."

He has gone back to Grogan's Store;
He's filled himself full of oats and grass;
And he's jumped Nancy Hogan's goose
Crying, "All you judges can kiss my arse!"