Fired yesterday.I got to get my wage and my boss told me:by the way,today was your last day here.You know,with the Olimpics we have to reduce our staff...
I was so shocked that I couldn't get angry and scream at him and tell him the total asshole he is,the fact that I've not been able to organize myself and find another position just because he'd been shitting his pants off to warn me before.So there we go.He may have saved money,but I don't know if i'll have anything to eat in the next days,for he didn't even give me enough to pay my rent today.It's a long,long story,repeating itself for the hundreth time in the last months.The problem of being young,foreign,female and not likely to bent to the system.Probably if I stopped painting and sold off my creativity to some web-design agency.Probably if...whatever,that's why I have a bitter grin when someone tells me how smart or cultivated i am : the truth is that I'm not even worth a crappy manual job to pay the bills.I'm not even worth caring enough,as a person,to not send me off the street and leave me in the shit.And thank god I wanted to save money to go to UNI...so,as an anthropologist,I'll be shown that I'm not worth blah blah. I sat there at home wondering what's wrong with me,Why does everybody condider me less than his house pet,why everybody finds a safe job and I don't,and so on.I sat there and sang "Honest Work."at least I was able to fully appreciate that song.And I went on the beach to have a swim,and it started raining.and I tought,well,fuck the rain,I don't care-and it started storming.and all the sky went dark...worst than some Peggy Lee song

I just hope i'll sort myself out before my birthday.a Depressed Peg is terrible,but an Unemployed,Starved Depressed Peg is umbearable.