From The London Magazine, or, Gentleman's Monthly Intelligencer, Volume 46 (London: R. Baldwin, 1777), page 430:


THE CRYING AND LAUGHING SONG,
Sung by Mr. Vernon at Vauxhall.
Composed by Mr. Hook.

1. When I wake with painful brow,
Ere the cock begins to crow,
Tossing, tumbling, in my bed,
Aching heart and aching head;
Pond'ring over human ills,
Cruel bailiffs, taylors' bills;
Flush and pam thrown up at loo,*
When these sorrows strike my view,
I cry—
And, to stop the gushing tear,
Wipe it with the pillow-bier.

2. But when sportive ev'ning comes,
Routs, ridottos, balls, and drums,
Casinos here, festinos there,
Mirth and pastime ev'ry where,
Seated by a sprightly lass,
Smiling with the smiling glass;
When these pleasures are my lot,
Taylors, bailiffs, all forgot,
I laugh—
Careless what may then befall,
Thus I shake my sides at all.

3. Then again when I peruse
O'er my tea the morning news,
Dismal tales of plunder'd houses,
Wanton wives and cuckold spouses;
When I read of money lent,
At sixteen and a half per cent,
I cry—
But if, ere the muffin's gone,
Simp'ring enters honest John;
"Sir, Miss Lucy's at the door,
Waiting in a chaise and four,"
Instant vanish all my cares,
Swift I scamper down the stairs
And laugh—
So may this indulgent throng,
Who now smiling grace my song,
Never more cry, "Oh! oh! oh!"
But join with me in, "Ha! ha! ha!"


[* "Loo" is apparently a card game; "flush" and "pam" are two possible hands.]