The lyrics in the Digital Tradition are unattributed. They look like they're a transcription of Steve Goodman's way of singing the song, but they're not exactly the same as Goodman sings it on the No Big Surprise anthology. Here are lyrics from what claims to be an official Michael Smith website. I've corrected some spelling mistakes. I haven't heard the Michael Smith recording, so I can't be sure these lyrics are accurate - they don't seem quite logical in places, and I'm tempted to add a whole lot more punctuation than I did.
-Joe-


THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF SEX
(Michael Smith)

I could learn to understand Swahili by myself
I could even teach it to my good dog Ralph
I could learn to read you every book upon the shelf
I could learn to tell your fortune like the Oracle of Delphi
I could learn to tell you every flower by its color
I could learn to swim as fast as Johnny Weismuller
But I couldn't ever learn to get along without you
Don't you run away from me, I sure dig sex

Ah you can get love from your papa or your mama
You can get warm from a turkish or a sauna
You can get hot from tortillas or lasagna
But you get all three when you make it with me

I really must confess it gets me in the solar plexus
When I think about the differences there are between the sexes
Peanut butter sandwiches are really neat
But when you get right down to it you can't compete with
Good old S-double-E-double-X is
Camper than Batman bigger than Texas
You're concave and I'm convex
Welcome to the world of sex

Ah do I love you, is the pope Catholic?
Do I need you, is a rubber band elastic?
Do I want you, is the atom bomb drastic?
Let's us be heterosexually entwined.

We'd fit like a tailored suit dear
I dig you more than I dig root beer
Green Giant peas need a big green pod
I spend a lotta time needin' your bod
And walkin' around through fields of clover
Can't we lie down and talk things over?
You never know what's coming off next, do you
In The Wonderful World Of Sex

© Michael Peter Smith 1966
Source: http://www.artistsofnote.com/michael/lyrics/w-w-sex.shtml


I see that Michael Smith is represented by Joann Murdock of Artists of Note, Kaneville, Illinois - Joann is the wife of Great Lakes musician Lee Murdock, who does some good music, too.

I think Michael Smith is the Mark Graham and Les Barker of the Great Lakes.
-Joe, who has a dog named Ralph-