We do have titles, purchased (at no great cost) from the independent kingdom of Hay on Wye. What we haven't yet managed to do is get to an official investiture there, although we will, one day - they're held on April 1st, I'm told. My husband has an enduring ambition to have our membership cards of, say, the National Trust in our titles so that we might have greater respect when we visit stately homes and castles but so far we haven't done anything with them. You could, however, refer to me from here on in as Lady Tregenna. I don't insist on everyone kneeling when I enter a room, though - just certain people.