Don't say, "Hey...Bite me bitch!" to Loreena Bobbitt.

If you have a Ford Bronco, don't buy Firestone tires.

Don't let Pete Townsend play your Gretsch "White Falcon."

If you're bothered by any type of music or any performer, don't talk to Meebo.

If you're having computer problems, don't ask Rick Fielding.

If you have a new thesaurus and are wanting to try it out, run a forum search on Peter T.

If you have a vehicle with a big engine, twin tanks, and they're both full with 56 gallons of premium, don't mention it to anyone in England.

If you are absolutely positive you know the EXACT meaning of "FOLK," keep it to yourself.

Don't suggest that Bob Dylan might not actually walk on water to Little Hawk.

Remember it isn't nice to insult a pissant so don't mention that they are related to Conrad.

Never suggest to a southerner that iced tea doesn't need sugar or that the beans have cooked long enough.

If you have a problem you want someone to listen to and yet want them to stay quiet about it, tell Bert. Its not that he's so honorable, he just can't remember what you told him.

Never attend a function with JenEllen that includes a barbecue, gas grill, or a kestrel, unless you are attired in Nomex.

If you open a Radio Shack store 425 miles from your nearest customer, you'll have time for Mudcat.

Never give Big Mick a potato if you want to eat it later.

Never try to explain the Edsel or Corvair to a German.

If you see any hard drives for sale at e-bay with a New Mexico seller's address, don't buy one.

Spaw