No LH, I'm not Orillian, but from your description of the town council and other dysfunctional oddities found in Orillia I just couldn't resist the limerick attempts. You have created a monster...To paraphrase Pogo, "I have met the enemy and he is me!"

An Orillian resident I'm not,
But I think of that quaint place a lot,
Especialy at night,
With my lamp by my side
As I seek out the porta pot!