NEWSFLASH!

All the garbage and stuff that was mysteriously removed from the garbage compactor has even more mysteriously re-appeared back inside the same garbage compactor!!! And it smells worse than ever.

The police are now picking through it piece by piece to find out if Shane's body is really in there.

God, I pity those guys. I really do. Even with the gasmasks.

Don has been informed of the ongong investigation. He is quite upset.

In a supplementary report, the pet store has been offered $500 by an unnamed person for the obscene parrot and they are considering whether to take the offer or auction the bird off and maybe get even more.

In an ancillary report, a drifter named Shawn McBaird has started up a new heavy metal band in Vancouver. The band is a 4-piece outfit and they play all original compositions by McBaird, turned up to "Infinity". McBaird says his major influences are Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Meat Loaf, and Ozzie Osbourne. The band will be named the "Corkpullers From Hell".