Spaw had got so fed up with the postings
That he lay in the sun for a toasting
When down came a bomb
It was from Major Tom
And it gave his aplomb quite a roasting

He leaped up in a froth of dismay
And declared, with a holler "No way!"
As his pants were blown off
Causing neighbours to cough
And then turn their shocked faces away

As he ran for the house he did hear
A loud cackle that rang in his ear
'Twas the astronaut's shade
As it rose from the glade
And pursued with a vengeance most clear

"You have slandered my death and my name
And upon David Bowie brought shame
Now list, ye vile traitor
Ye prancer and prater
To the doom that befalls on your frame

Unto you a most hideous fate
To be tied hand and foot to a plate
In the hands of a giant
Not 2000-compliant
Who's propensities I'll soon relate

He devours the foul and the fair
Leaving nothing but soiled underwear
Which in your case dear Spaw
Means he's eating you raw
And leaving not one single hair

So prepare for the worst, wretched Spaw
As upon you descendeth his claws
A pox on your person
For that matter, a curse on
Your head, and your house..."(wild applause!)