Monty Python

emanual kant was a real pissant
who could drink you under the table
david hume could outconsume Schopenhouer and hagle
and litginstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as shlagle
There's nothing Nitsche couldn't teach ya
bout the raising of the wrist
socrates himself was permanently pissed

John Stuart mill, of his own free will
on a half a pint of shanty was particularly ill
Plato they say, could stick it away
half a crate of whiskey every day
aristottle aristottle was a bugger for the bottle
hobbs was fond of his dram
an' rene decart was a drunken fart, I drink therefore I am
Yes socrates is particularily missed
a lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed