According to Alfred Denning (1899-1999), a British soldier, mathematician, lawyer and judge:

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"When a diplomat says yes, he means perhaps.

When he says perhaps he means no.

When he says no, he is not a diplomat.

When a lady says no, she means perhaps.

When she says perhaps, she means yes.

But when she says yes, she is not a lady."

--From his Speech to the Magistrates Association
October 14, 1982

(Another great Lord Denning quote:

"The House of Commons starts its proceedings with a prayer. The chaplain looks at the assembled members with their varied intelligence and then prays for the country."

--In the Daily Telegraph, October 12, 1989)