There's a story in the stonecutter's trade that two old friends had a falling out -- the crusty old bachelors had even purchased graves side-by-side. A week or so after the fight, one died and his stone read

       Stranger, know as you pass by,
       As you are now, so once was I
       As I am now, so you shall be
       Prepare for death and follow me.

The other died a few months later and was buried in the plot chosen many years before. His epitaph read:

       To follow you
       I'm not content
       For I know not
       Which way you went.

Or the original epitaph of James Madison's father, which was replaced by the family because too many people found it offensive:

      First fruits and tithes
      Are odious things
      And so are Bishops,
      Priests and Kings.

But at least you knew where the old man stood!