Well, sheet fire, son... Everybody got a credit card... The crdit card companies see to that... Heck, couple hundred thousand kids quit college every year 'cause of them... Boss Hog Visa is thinkin' about issuin' 'um to new borns... But firget that plastic stuff... Boss Hog Vias gonna just take the baby before it leaves the hospital and implant one of them Smart Tag thingies in the baby in case it uses the automatic door to get out of the hospital... But good news... The push/pull doors will still be free until 2016...
And what about "Free Fart Fridays"??? Yup, save 'um up, folks 'cause Boss Hog Visa gonna have on Friday a month where you can really stink up the joint... Of course, in order to get your Free Fart Friday yer gonna have to sign a contract to not go with Corporate Pig Master Card for at least one year... But wait!!! If you sign up today for Free Fart Friday Boss Hog, being the benevolent hog that he is, will also throw in 2 free "silent sams" to be used in church that can be used anytime you need 'um...
Sorry ya'll... Ol' hillbilly gotta get signed up quick 'cause they said this was a limited offer... BTW just call 1-800-Fart4Fre and be the envy of all of yer neighbors...