Brand New Bike
(with apologies to Melanie Safka)

I rode my bicycle through the park Monday last
Don't ride too slow, and I don't ride too fast
I saw a rustling in the brush ahead of me
I slowed way down to see what I could see

Chorus
Oh I saw an angry pair of roving apes
Jump from the brush at me
I thought that I could get away
But a chicken swung at me
I fell off of my bike and then
The chicken rode it away
Oh I saw an angry pair of roving apes
They stole my bike that day

I sat there bruised and didn't know what to do
Would cops believe me or think I was a screw?
It almost seems I should just give up and hike
But that damned chicken stole my g-- d---ed new bike

(repeat chorus)

I brushed my clothes off and I swallowed my pride
Hoping the cops wouldn't think that I lied
I told my tale and they clucked their tongues at me
If I catch that bird it will be fricasseed

(repeat chorus)