I didn't go all up the thread t ocheck so forgive me if this one is already there.

I heard Séamus Ennis tell this one as a joke/recitation but it's been put to music (I am not mad about the tune that was put on it though).

The Irish French Letter


I was up to me arse in the muck, sir.
With a peat contract down in the bog
When me shovel it struck something hard sir
That I thought was a rock, or a log.

'Twas a box of the finest old oak, sir
'Twas a foot long and four inches wide.
And not giving a damn for the fairies,
I just took a quick look inside.

Now I opened the lid of this box, sir,
And I swear that my story is true
'Twas an ancient old Irish French letter,
A relic of Brian Boru.

'Twas an ancient old Irish French letter,
'Twas a foot long and made of elk hide;
With a little gold tag on its end sir
With his name, rank and stud fee inscribed.

Now I cast me mind back through the ages,
To the days of that horny old Celt,
With his wife lyin' by on the bed, sir,
As he stood by the fire in his pelt.

And I thought that I heard Brian whisper,
As he stood in the fire's rosy light,
"Well, ye've had your own way long enough, dear,
'Tis the hairy side outside tonight!"