The moon shone on the village green
It shone on little Nell
Was she picking buttercups?
Was she bloody hell!
She was waiting for her lover,
The mucky lord and bugger.
He wasn't fit to carry shit
From one arse to another.
He laid her on the grassy turf,
He knew it was unlawful,
And when he pulled her knickers down
The smell was bloody awful.

Three months later belly swells,
Six months later all is well,
Nine months later, what a shock,
Out jumped a bastard with a paralysed cock!

This is by no means complete, but all I can remember from my 50s childhood in Hull. Delivered in true monologue style a la 'The Green Eye of the Little Yellow God'.