I've never had a beard, and I don't wear sandals. However, in recent weeks I have been seen about town wearing an old pair of trainers with the toe-caps cut off.(no sandals) This is due to the fact that I had both big toenails removed and can't wear shoes for the time being. (ouch)

If asked about it I offer the explanation that I'm trying to start a new fashion trend called, "Wino-Chic."

Or... I've just come back from Paris where I visited an exhibition called, "The Gestapo Experience."