How much nicer it would have been in my teachers had used blackboard cheese. Oh, to be spared the awful screech of chalk upon board, making one's nerves ringle and tingle to the very core of your being..

And how useful to be able to write secret messages in your sandwiches!
Appointments with Mistresses could be made whilst chomping on the Branston Pickle, swallowing the evidence down so innocently..

Think how many little mice would still be alive today, had cheese only come into contact with blackboards and not floorboards...

Oh the Sadness of Me and Mice and Men...


And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to apply my bonnet, take up my chalk and write a Sandwich Sonnet...

;0)