In honor of the Feast of St. Nicholas tonight, the Legion Hovel has been decorated for the holidays. As usual, Stinky Smith lit the candles on the tree and as usual the thing burst into flames -- the Supreme Keeper of the Kash told the Decorating Committee last year to stop buying trees after Christmas and saving them for the next Christmas. Now they'll have to get the scorch marks off the skylight again, and once again go buy a tree at retail.

Naturally the outside is decorated in Christmas light and colors; as well as moldy pumpkins; tattered Union banners from Labor Day; various dud fireworks; posters of Abe, Martin, and George; a Guy; a recording of La Marseillaise (stuck on the line Que tes ennemis expirants), and a neon sign (broken) with the words to "O'Kanata" in Inuktuk. Among other things, some of them unmentionable and some no longer describable.

It's the holiday season, the holiday season...even the cannons out front are draped in lights and it's best not to be anywhere around them when the lights are on, unless you fancy electrocution.