John Hardly was a desperate man
Went to his closet every day
Hoping to sneak his banjo out
But his wife, she would get in the way
His wife she would get in his way

John Hardly woke at three AM
This time he knew he'd win
Snuck out that five string
and ducked out the kitchen door
Afraid to even break wind, lord lord!
Afraid to even break wind

John Hardly stood on that Black Street bridge
Clawhammering his fingers to the bone
'Long come a sheriff and a depiddy too,
Swore they would take old Johnny home, lord lord!
Swore they would take old Johnny home.

Well, the sheriff who brought John Hardly home,
He thought he was mighty mean
But he left John's house with that banjo 'round his neck
And he ran right through that kitchen screen, lord lord.
He ran right through that kitchen screen.

Now John Hardly's woman was a pow'ful gal
She stood about four feet tall
She said "I'd rather have me a clawhammer man,
Than the fattest sheriff of all, lord lord,
The fattest sheriff of all"

There's a dozen more verses waiting around and the dude only opened his mouth one time! :>)) Over to you-all....

Regards,

Amos