The first step in solving the problem is recognizing that it is a problem, pal. Until you do that, the question is purely rhetorical. And don't pretend that because you wrote this funny post that you have finished Step 1. I see right through you. You're still in denial!! ADMIT it!!

Either that or find someone else willing to admit it for you, in painfully loud tones. That oughta do the trick...

A