What the fuck's up with this guy? Always in the friggin' hospital and shit! Well I'm gettin' damned well tired of typing up a new "Get Well" message every time the sorry old fuckstick decides to take a few days off and spend it lollygagging around some hospital hoping some 25 year-old nurse will stick a thermometer up his ass.

So, I'm typing the following message and saving it as a Word document. Next time the fucker goes in the hospital, he's gonna get the same damned message.

Beginning of message:

Hey, Dipshit! What the fuck is it with you? You think parading around hospitals with your ass hanging out of one of those flimsy gowns is gonna turn some chick on or something? Forget it! Nobody wants to see your pimply old ass. And don't even think about turning that gown around! Absolutely nobody is interested in seeing you shriveled old pecker! Just get the fuck well, go home, and get back to your usual life of farting, jacking off, and being an obnoxious broke-dicked old asshole.

End of message.