Last Saturday night I got into a fight.
I woke up on Wednesday with a heck of a fright.
The Judge said, "Young fella, you're going for a spell,
Six months hard labour at the Strangeways Hotel."

CHORUS: Too Ra Loo Ay up I can tell,
Hugga, Hugga.
There's no place on earth like the Strangeways Hotel.

They got me a taxi and the judge paid my fare.
They got me a new suit and cut off my hair.
The screws took my money and my smokes as well.
That was my welcome to the Strangeways Hotel. CHORUS

The wardens, they read bedtime stories at night,
They tuck you all in and they turn out the light.
They give you a big kiss to make you sleep well.
They've got very strange wardens at the Strangeways Hotel. CHORUS

Well we don't sleep like tops and we don't sleep like logs,
Cos' the bedbugs they have feet like soldiers' clogs.
They nip you and bite you and punch you as well.
Then kick you out o' bed at the Strangeways Hotel. CHORUS

It's porridge each morning. It's strong and it's thick.
It clogs up the drains and puts muscles on your....elbows.
How do they make more when one lot is spent?
Mix two bags of sand with one of cement. CHORUS

It's fish every Friday. It's fish two feet wide.
It sits on the plate and hangs over the sides.
You can tell that it's Friday just by the smell,
Cos' the fish have done time at the Strangeways Hotel. CHORUS

Well I stayed down in Strangeways for nearly a year,
And when I was leaving they were almost in tears.
They all waved their hankies and rang a big bell,
And that was my farewell from the Strangeways Hotel. CHORUS