Q: What does Ricky Ponting and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

There was a man outside mowing his lawn. He lived next store to Ricky Ponting who had just gotten a computer. Ricky Ponting went out to his mailbox to check the mail and went back in. After he had done that 10 times the guy asked him why he kept coming back out side and he said my computer keeps telling me I have mail.

A man once hired Ricky Ponting to paint stripes down a road, but he has to keep the contract and do at least four miles each day. The first day, Ponting does 8 miles. The boss is extremely impressed. The second day he does 4 miles. The boss is somewhat impressed, but not as much as before. The third day, he does two miles. The boss thinks he is just having a bad day, so he still lets him keep the job. The fourth day, Ponting only does 1 mile. The boss asks, "You were doing so well before. Why aren't you doing well now?!" Ricky Ponting replies, "I can't get far because each day I'm getting further and further away from the bucket."

Q. How do you know Ricky Ponting has been using the computer?
A. There is cheese in front of the mouse!

A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a mobile phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. Ricky Ponting rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at him, then says, "Sir, that's your air freshener."