The decision to marry is, at its best, a courageous decision that two people make together...not just to have sex, for heaven's sake!...but to share every practical aspect and responsibility of life together. That's a really major step. It's a step that requires maturity and a lot of hard work and compromise. It requires a lifetime of committment to getting along with and compromising with one other person, no matter what comes along. It's about one hell of a lot more than the mere sex life of two individuals or the quality of sex they are having!

Now, I was aware of all of that by the time I was maybe 15 or 16, and I gave it some considerable thought. My feeling was that I wasn't mature enough to take that step yet, and that I probably wouldn't be that mature for some considerable time yet...if ever! And I had serious doubts about the whole institution of marriage, because my parents' marriage did not strike me as a very happy one...it didn't inspire any confidence in me regarding the concept of marriage.

I figured I'd be a lot happier on my own. And I have held to that, though I've lived with 3 different girlfriends for extended periods of time.

If I'd had intentions of raising children, then I would have married. I did not.

There are many ways of finding real intimacy, and many ways of overcoming loneliness. Marriage is only one of them. It's the conventional pattern that most people follow, but I've never been much interested in following convention. It's always been natural to me to be an outsider, and it doesn't mean I have to be lonely. Matter of fact, I've been a lot lonelier in company sometimes than the loneliness I have experienced in solitude.