As this year draws to a close, I feel I must reflect certain things, such as those who are no longer with us, and those things I need to change about myself. For instance in the last two years, I have lost one aunt, and four cousins. Aunt Max, had given up on life, no longer doing the things she loved, such as Bingo. She gave up after her youngest drowned under suspicious circumstances.

Her oldest, Butch, died within just hours of her, from cancer. Her brothers and father were bootleggers, back in the day. I will think on her tonight. Her oldest son, lived down in Baton Rouge so long, he was assimilated into the culture, coming up north cooking spicy cajun dishes. The first actual dish I ever cooked I learned from him. He was also a bright spot at every family reunion, laughing, and joking, making even the crankiest person there smile. I will reflect on the joy of his rememberance tonight.

Vicki was bipolar, among other things. Her illness led her down many wrong paths throughout her life, until she had alienated even those who loved her the most. She had given up, and laid down one night to never rise. I don't have many fond memories, but I will remember her, not for her insanity, but for the heart that is her mother, that I hold dear.

Another cousin, had rebuilt her life after her husband died during a mishap while he was being operated upon. She found new life, new love, and was looking forward to the years with her new man. yet she came down with cancer, that vile disease that tears people apart, destroying them, physically, and spiritually. She died just a couple of months after Butch.

A few days before this last Christmas, my cousin Joan, was hospitalised, because she was too busy taking care of her husband, who had a stroke, to take any time for herself. She got a staph infection in her heart, and could not fight it off. While he was in the hospital undergoing open heart surgery, she passed away. It is in regards to her that I am writing this. She was a major force with the family. I was a practice grandchild for her, until her kids finally gave her some of her own. We would hold long conversations, together, about books, writing, and about life. I am going to miss her, and tonight I will be thinking of her, of the unsung poetry that was her soul.

Happy New Year's.