Well, here goes my little ditty -- It pales in comparision to all that went before it -- But, I kept thinking about the cause and effect, shall we say. So, here's my (perverse) take on it:

With Extra Relish (No tune -- any suggestions?)

Well Sammy's wife, Zoe, was so worried,
That Sam had a wandering eye,
She went in for a little tooshy tuck,
But the result made our poor Sammy cry.

Instead of the soft buns that he cherished,
His Zoe now had two hard mounds,
Now when he gave them a little loving squeeze,
His heart sank right down to the ground.

One day at the market, our dear Sammy
Found himself in the bakery aisle,
Perusing the rows of buns and cakes now,
Our Sammy grew a big foot-long smile.

Now Zoe could never imagine,
Why Sam suddenly seemed to yearn,
To do all the shopping at the market,
And her handmade bread always would burn.

For three years their marriage was blissful,
'Till at the news stand our Zoe did stop,
And there on the front page was her Sammy,
For bun bashing he had been popped!

The trial made the TV and the Internet,
CNN and MSNBC, too,
But Zoe kept quiet through it all now,
And made plans about what next to do.

Well they moved to Las Vegas in the springtime,
And Zoe got tucked at the top,
With her biscuits and buns, she got a new job,
And Sam promised his habits to drop.

Now Zoe she's dancing at casinos,
And Sam sells hot dogs on the side,
With a smile he dispenses 'Sammy's Special',
A foot-long with a bun extra wide!