I am slowly coming to the conclusion that Linux, and Linux apps, are written by people who are too stupid to work for Microsoft.

And I don't have a terribly high opinion of Microsoft products.

Currently trying to run a speech-recognition system called "simon". Before you can run it you have to set up a model. What's a model? Help doesn't say. Wait -- here's a glossary! Oh wait, "model" is not listed in the M's. Hey, I can search!... Oh wait, to search I first need to create an index. But stop! It can't because the file kde_application_manuals doesn't exist. I have to first install the package containing it.

Which package would that be? Where can I find it? It don't say.

Aha! Google to the rescue! Except, no, wait, this page assumes I already have kde_application_manuals installed, and am trying to configure them/it. Apparently they're for KDE. What's KDE? Aha! It's the graphic user interface I DON'T have. (I'm running gnome.) And this page doesn't help. And this page doesn't help. And this page doesn't help. There is nothing in the first 5 screens that is even close to fitting the bill.

But wait, what I really want is to know what a "simon" model is. Google to the rescue! Except, no, wait. There is nothing in the first 5 screens that ... hey, where have I heard that before?

Welcome to Ubuntu Hell. There's no way to find the answer on your own! There's nobody to ask! There is no manual!

You entered when you installed Ubuntu on your computer. You will never leave until you scrape that crap off your hard drive and install Windows, because you suck and our software isn't designed for you, it's designed for the people who designed it, a closed circle of misanthropic fiends whose only joy in life is to make otherwise intelligent people feel inferior to themselves.

Did I mention how I can't have two sources of sound at the same time? If I open a YouTube window, I lose all the sounds in the chatroom that tell me (say) when someone comes in or starts typing. There are plenty of places in all the online Ubuntu/Linux online communities that have at least one thread about this problem. In none of them is it solved, except for the ones which, when I try the solution, it doesn't work for me.

Oh, did I mention Ubuntu/Linux online community "help" threads? Those have a most interesting dynamic. You ask a question. Some bright and helpful person gives the only answer they have. You try it and it doesn't work. Some second person gives their sole answer. You try it and it doesn't work. The thread then goes silent for eternity. These communities are littered with threads whose last post is from 2006 and consists of some variation on, "That didn't work. Help?"

Ticking down, Ubuntu. If this bullshit keeps up until April 1, you're out the Windows. No fooling.