THE BAKER BOYS LAMENT

I'm little Sammy Feldman,
And my story's to be told,
I hang out in the market,
Where the bread and cakes are sold.

I am a little scary,
Even by my own admission,
I feel that I am going through,
A rather strange transition.

I cannot pass a pastry,
Without giving it a punch,
The same goes for the cookies,
I just have to hear them crunch.

My mother said it started,
When I was just a boy,
I wasn't like the others,
Who were playing with their toys.

I had a strange desire,
A call I had to heed,
I never could control it,
Call it a need to knead.

When I became a young man,
I thought a baker I could be,
It made a lot of sense,
It fit my strange activity.

And so I joined the college,
Of cullinary arts,
Where I learned to bake all kinds of bread,
And pies ,& cakes , & tarts.

While there I met a young girl,
She stole my heart in a big way,
And we planned to wed each other,
Until our wedding day.

You see I had to tell her,
Of my rather strange desire,
To feel the warmth of bread dough,
Than to feel her inner fire.

She took the news quite poorly,
I knew it wouldn't work,
As she ran off I heard her say,
"You're just a kneady jerk"!

Now I lament my lost love,
In this supermarket isle,
Squeezing all the pastry,
With a slightly evil smile.

And so you see this is the way,
I fulfill my fantasy,
Cause there is no better way,
To please a weirdo just like me.

Ron.

line breaks added by elf/joeclone