Un-beknown to the populace the "European Convention on Human Rights" is tabling the following proposals.
"All prisoners sentenced to prison terms exceeding six months shall be entitled to:-
a) Conjugal visits, bygamists being allowed three in a bed.
b) Annual attendance at one of these. A football Cup Final, one Test
   Match or the Ideal Homes Exhibition.
C) To sit on a jury.
d) Select a venue for an appeal hearing from one of the following:-
   Queen Mary, Las Palmas or Val d`Isere.
e) Select the location of re-habilitation courses from one of the
   following:- The Queen Mary, Las Palmas or Val d`Isere.

   Her Majesty`s Government is struggling with what approach to adopt.