Well of course, its all no secret in the corridors of ppwer, where earthy Lib Dem types are always sniggering and saying, still getting rat arsed David? Personally I see nothing remotely funny in that sort of vulgarity.

How refreshing to speak to a lady like yourself Penelope, who is obviously liberated and educated, and takes seriously a mans needs to get his hands on something tactile and furry. And Michelle is quite wonderful in this respect.

Nevertheless if you have any frank exposure photographs of yourself, or any other tory ladies - I can assure you they will be given earnest comsideration at cabinet level. Just post them to No.10 - and if Michele's relatives don't get to them and chew them up first - they will reach me.

Of course you can always e-mail me. Michele's father has taken an interest in the SCART cable to my computer, but it looks sturdy enough at the mo'.

Yours

David