reminds me of the story of a world-travelling playboy who collected stuff where ever he went. He managed to lure some sweet thing (blond, no doubt) up to his apartment. She browsed while he fixed drinks....so when he came back, she pointed to the mantle...

"Ummm..what's that thing?"...
"That? Oh, that's just a tribal carving I picked up in Africa a few years ago...very old!...Actually, it's phallic symbol."
"It is, huh?..Well...I'd hate to tell you what it LOOKS like!"