Is there a family extant that does not have at least one toxic member. We find our supports elsewhere, with dint of effort and good luck. So it helped me to talk with my friends. And, yes, Susan, we are each accountable for our own feelings and what we do about them. I cannot, at present, get only one brother out of my life. They are still, as one close friend keeps saying, "joined at the hip".

However, I shall have to let R know that I do not consider his bro worth coping with, not even for R's sake. I am not prepared to spend the years I have left, being abused and watching R be abused. I will not accept living with that amount of clutter. The "deal" I made with him in Aug 2009 was, "I will not leave you unless you want me to do so or unless you abandon me." I have had to define abandonment a few times since. He is moving his office to our home to avoid interference; if bro is allowed in home.....

There! I wrote a bunch more and moved it to Stuff of Life. But it helped un-clutter my mind and clarify what I need to say to R.

Life moves on. I worked on more Quaker stuff this morning and sent off a matter of corporate interest to share with the rest of our small group. Still working on several other subjects so when they arise, the info is available. It feels good to be doing these things. Also sharing links from and to friends on FB. I choose only to have friends I know face to face. I enjoy spending the time keeping that much in touch with those who participate.

Now it is a cold (20 F), sunny day and I could go shopping but maybe I will just stay where it is almost warm and read, write and cogitate. It is supposed to warm up starting tonight. Then I will feel like doing more than sitting wrapped in a down throw with my feet on the heating pad! Maybe the upstairs can, then, start really getting cleaned and stuff moved up there. A change of venue! But it will not be as convenient on two floors as one. Especially when we have to go outside to go from one floor to the other. Because it is best to maintain the wall until the downstairs is renovated so dust....

Now is a good time for a detox bath. I am hypersensitive to newsprint this morning. Off I go!