There are many copies/versions of this song already posted at Mudcat, but none of them corresponds exactly to what Harry Champion sang. The one above is probably closest. Accordingly, I have created the following copy by taking the above copy and changing it wherever the words are distinctly different from the ones in the recording. Those words are boldfaced. I also deleted a few words, plus the whole "spoken" verse at the end. A few words are uncertain; for example, it's sometimes hard to tell whether he's singing "says" or "said." (Tenses are inconsistent, as in many folk narratives.) When in doubt, I stuck with the lyrics posted by Owlkat.

You can hear Harry Champion singing this at YouTube. It's the second of two songs in that "video."

Note the word "when" doesn't appear in the title of the recording.


THE OLD DUN COW CAUGHT FIRE
As sung by Harry Champion

1. Some pals and I in a public house were playing dominoes last night,
When all of a sudden in the potman runs with a face just like a kite.
"What's up?" said Brown. "Why you silly old fool! Have you seen old Aunt Maria?"
"Aunt be blowed," then the potman cried. "The blooming pub's on fire!"
"On fire!" said Brown. "What a bit of luck! Come along with me," shouts he.
"Down in the cellar, if the fire ain't there, we'll have a fair old spree."
So we all goes down 'long with good old Brown. Booze we couldn't miss.
We hadn't been ten minutes there, when I was just like this.

CHORUS: And there was Brown upside down mopping up the whisky off the floor.
"Booze, booze, booze!" then the firemen cried as they got banging in the door.
"Don't let 'em in till it's all mopped up!" someone said to Macintyre,
And we all got blue blind paralytic drunk when the Old Dun Cow caught fire.

2. Old Johnson flew at the port-wine tub and he gave it just a few hard knocks.
He then starts taking off his pantaloons, likewise his boots and socks.
"Hold hard," said Snooks. "If you want to wash your feet, there's a barrel full of four ale here.
Don't put your trotters in the port wine, Jack, when there's some old stale beer."
Just then there was such a dreadful crash, half the blooming roof gave way.
We got drowned with a fireman's hose, but still we were all gay.
We found some sacks and some old tin tacks, shoved ourselves inside.
We all got drinking good old scotch till we were bleary-eyed. CHORUS

3. We got so drunk we did not know the blooming cellar had caught fire.
Poor old Jones had the D.T.'s bad and wanted to retire.
"There's Old Nick," said another poor chap, "and he's poking up the blooming fire.
"That's no bogey. It's a fireman, Tom, at least," said Macintyre.
"Let's get out," said a brown-eyed chap. "It's getting very dark down here."
"Don't be a fool," said a tipsy chap. "We haven't drank the beer!"
So we filled our hats and we drank like cats 'midst the flames and smoke.
I had to take my collar off. I thought that I should choke. CHORUS