Three cheers -- the song has been found! ("And there was much rejoicing...")

A friend of mine posted my request on the Trad Song Forum and got a response; John Bowden (above) also has identified the song (take a bow, John!). Better yet, the fellow who posted on TSF has a cassette recording of the song; he has played it over the phone into my husband's camera (which also does video recordings, so there's a soundtrack -- digital even -- that we can play on the computer). The sound quality is far too poor to use for the funeral (can't really even make out the words, but the tune comes through), but it's good enough for me to learn it in time for tomorrow.

Here's an excerpt of the TSF post/message (from George Frampton, who I'm told is not a stranger to Mudcat):
Peter Kennedy recorded it from Ruth Burden of Eastry, Kent - one verse only, but mercifully, the tune. I have a copy on CD-R which he sent me; otherwise try Tony Engle.
Nigel Hobbins of the Whitstable FC also recorded the song from his grandfather Bill Hobbins of Challock, Kent - Nigel sent me a cassette of Bill singing it. Nigel also sang it at the Kent Gathering in 2008.
Could copy all three versions onto a cassette if you're desparate.
I've been through my own song indexes, and I have no hard copy, alas.

It would be great if I could find written words for the verses, as the recording of George's recording is so poor I can't make them out, but finding the tune for the chorus in time for the funeral is absolutely brilliant, so I'm willing to settle for that for the time being.

We've contacted my friend, and he (and his Mum) are thrilled that it has been tracked down.

I'm absolutely blown away by the fact that the folk community was able to dig up this incredibly obscure song in less than 48 hours! Actually, my friend e-mailed me at 12.36 pm yesterday (15 Feb) and by 5.16 pm today John Bowden's message was in my mailbox; George Frampton's message had been forwarded to me by 6.07 pm today -- so that's less than 35 (or 36, depending how you count) hours -- truly amazing!

Thanks to everyone who has helped -- and tried to help. Special thanks to leeneia for your repeated efforts; to John Bowden for coming up with the correct song, and to Steve Byrne for what looks like an extremely comprehensive search (are you by any chance a librarian, Steve?). I followed your search link and looked at all three results; the one you linked to (the 2nd) looks most promising, but I did a further search for "records containing all of the following words" and added the words daddy, home and foam (together, then singly), but get "No records" in the Search results, so I guess it's prolly not that song, unfortunately.

I'll report back after the funeral to let y'all know how it turned out.

Thanks again to everyone, and extra special thanks to George!