Once there was a Dutchman. His name was Johnny Trebeck.
He made the finest sausages and sourkrat, i suspect.
He made the finest sausages, that ever could be seen.
'Til one day he invented the wonderful sausage machine.

Oh, Mr. Johnny Trebeck, how could you be so mean?
I told you you'd be sorry, for inventing that machine.
Now all the neighbors' cats and dogs will never more be seen,
They'll be ground to sausages in Johnny Trebeck's machine.

One Day a little fat boy, came walking in the store.
He bought a pound of sausages, and laid 'em on the floor.
He started in a whistlin' and whistlin' a tune,
And all the little sausages, went dancin' 'round the room.

Oh, Mr. Johnny Trebeck, how could you be so mean?
I told you you'd be sorry, for inventing that machine.
Now all the neighbors' cats and dogs will never more be seen,
They'll be ground to sausages in Johnny Trebeck's machine.

One day the darn thing busted, the dang thing wouldn't go.
So Johnny Trebeck crawled inside to see what made it so.
His wife was having a nightmare, and walking in her sleep.
She gave the crank one heck of a yank and Johnny Trebeck was meat.

Oh, Mr. Johnny Trebeck, how could you be so mean?
I told you you'd be sorry, for inventing that machine.
Now all the neighbors' cats and dogs will never more be seen,
They'll be ground to sausages in Johnny Trebeck's machine.