I am still learning, but I think it depends on how you want to USE Facebook as a resource or social outlet. If you want it to be for promotion, accept all and ban any who act up-- that's how I'm on the "friend" list o a hockey player we admired, now that he's playing elsewhere. I'm sure I'm none of his very best 2,000 friends!

So for myself I am going slow, and I did set some boundaries for myself, such as the PM's I sent in response to one request (identifying info stripped out):


T---, thanks for your FB friend request. After some strokes my memories are a little mixed up. Can you refresh my mind on our [HS] days?

~Susan

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Were you involved with the theater people at all?

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T---, I appreciate you reaching out, but my life as a clergy spouse is so busy now that I am not adding any new friends at FB with whom I do not already have a relationship. Your face looks familiar enough that something may yet come back to me, so I am going to leave your friend request pending, and wish you all the best. Feel free also to submit/pass along any prayer requests, OK?

Thanks,

~S~

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Summary: courtesy within the time I have available to reply, a query about how they see him/herself as my "friend," and an open (but clearly limited) door. It only takes a moment to be kind, and until I know what to do I let a request sit. I expect others I try to befriend to do the same, and they usually seem to do so.

I CAN share THIS-- once you accept one, it's really kinda icky to "un-friend" them. I am sure I will find out what that feels like too, just as I am now finding out which of these "contacts" I signed on with in the first few days is a constant stream of negativity, "bless her heart."

But with FB I did find my BEST friend from HS and we instantly picked up were we had been despite 40 years of no contact. So-- [shrug]. Think about how you want to use it, set up a structure that supports that, and stick to it. And review it once in awhile.

~Susan