"In a move designed to capitalize on the current wave of popularity being realized by various weapons in the United States, Quebec today announced that it would adopt the sling shot as the Official Provincial "Hand-held Weapon of Choice When You Have Fuck All Else to Do on Friday Nights". The Federal government has filed a protest with the UN Security Council, but experience shows that because they can't find their dicks when the lights are out, Quebeckers don't expect to be sanctioned for years."

From the Montreal Morning Mail and Barn Door Company.